Mr. The One Eyed Man

We were in the middle of wrapping our shirts in brown paper and tying them with string in preperation for our trip to the Europhotobloggers meetup in Berlin when comes crashing through the Broken Window of Love a missive tied to a rock.

"MORE PAPER AND STRING!" we cried in unison and dug out one more shirt for us to share.

Our new shirt wrapper turned out to be a note from a one Mr. The One Eyed Man (aka John Simpson.ca). Frequent photomeme particpants will know him as a very early participant in most memes and the one we most frequently confuse with Mr. The Occasional Odd Crop. (It's the whole Four Word, Starting with 'The', and then has some O's in the name thing.)

And why was he writing us? Well for the sake of discretion let's just say HE IS THE MOST SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTER IN THE HISTORY OF SNAKE OIL SALESMEN and we respect that. So along with some other business, we corralled him into one of our now famous Photo Meme Hall of Shame Interviews.

Oddly enough, it came seconds after we asked him to be interviewed.

1. Who are you and why are you doing this to us?

To answer part two first...because I have no shame when it comes to blatant self promotion, and...you can never have enough creative people in your lives. I'm a photographer, called John Simpson, always have been and continue to be so far. At various times in my working career I have been a cook, a farm laborer, a reporter, a parent of two delightful daughters, photographer, editor, Raconteur and Bon Vivant ...but mostly photographer. It is a brilliant way to earn a living.

2. Are you the one eyed man or is he your subject. If it is you, why do youhave one eye? If the other is glass, when you get a new one, may we have the old? Or, disappointingly as we have wondered in the past, are you the one eyed man who would be King in the Kingdom of the Blind?

I am the one-eyed man, in the sense that I really am monocular. The other eye is mine, not glass, and no you can't have it, I'm quite attached to it. I first heard the quote about the one eyed man in a Tom Waits song, who is a flat out brilliant lyricist, but later discovered Desiderus Erasmus, the originator of the quote. Look him up...interesting man.I believe that I can do better than to be the brightest of the dim!

3. Do you know Kerrin?

No. Should I?

(We hate to interrupt this interview but we feel the need to clarify the whole Kerrin issue and will again in a later post. Kerrin is, if you will, your public defender. If you are arrested in most civilized countries and can not afford or do not want to get an attorney of your own you, will get a court appointed attorney. Or if you try to have a marriage annulled in the Catholic Church, you used to have a deal with a person called 'The Defender of the Bond' who tried to throw a wrench in the works by saying that you marriage WAS good and valid. That is who Kerrin is here at the Photo Meme Hall of Shame. We shame, she emails us and defends you all. Neene sometimes has that role if we don't UNDERSTAND the art, but it's Kerrin who calls us meanies. We love her. As should you. Now back to our regularly scheduled interview)

4. What equipment do or have you used? Are there any manufacturers you'd like to praise or bad mouth here?

I have always believed in buying the best equipment I could afford to do the job. I had some start up money, so was able to buy cameras by Nikon, Hasselblad, and later Pentax 645's and lighting from Balcar.

5. What other hobbies do you enjoy or enjoy inflicting upon others?

Mountain biking and squash, would be better at the squash thing if I had a second eye.That, and pouring tea, tend to miss the cup, no depth perception.

6. Where else can we see your photos? Do you have any side projects?

I don't have a commercial site any more. I prefer to show real portfolios. My book "The one eyed man" is my side project. I have always said I should do a book, and finally did it. Quite gratifying really.

7. What is the best photo that you missed?

There are so many.... must remind myself to carry a camera more. Have a file in my head called "photos I wish I had taken".

8. Tell us your worst habit.

Worst is such a negative descriptor..I enjoy really good coffee daily, and a cigar on occasion, though its not the same here as on a beach in the tropics under a shady palm tree.

9. Have you ever done anything heroic? (i.e. solved crimes, saved someonefrom a burning building or untied them from railroad tracks, foughtinjustice, donated organs) If not, why not? If so, please include press clippings.)

I volunteer my time and work to a couple of worthy causes in my city. Sadly no jumping over burning buildings..I have limited powers but I use them for good.

10. If you weren't doing what you do now, what else WOULD you be doing? Photographer doesn't count.

That would have to be Buddhist Monk. Not ready for that yet, can't manage the renunciation of sex.

11. What are you wearing?

Thanks for asking! Big cargo shorts (brown,the new black) black t-shirt...(black,the old black) and brown Doc Marten's with slouchy socks.

And for those of you with scorecards keeping track, the most true statement in this whole interview?

We suspect his very first answer to the second part of our question The First.

Now go see his site in the unlikely event that you haven't already. AND REMEMEBER USE YOUR PHOTO MEME HALL OF SHAME CLOAKING DEVICE AND VOICE CHANGER so that he doesn't get billed for his massive server crippling traffic and when he checks his Visit Counter and sees no one has come from here, HE'LL KNOW IT'S YOU!