Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What the hell has been going on here?

You poor, poor people. I just got back from my annual trip to catch up with our old buddies from the Légion Étrangère (Bonjour, Albert. Lots of mercis and kisses from Le Memeshame for the new kapi) to find that Shame had managed to hack his way into the password- and child-lock-secured laptop again and has been doing a lot of male-bonding of his own. Well, he does miss me so when I’m away and I couldn’t take him with me this time because of the tightened security at the airports. I’m just sorry you all had to witness his undiluted genius like that. I did leave instructions with the babysitter but the kids tell me she emptied the medicine and the drinks cabinets within the first 24 hours and hasn’t been seen since. Anyway, Memeshame is back with the programme and we hope to have normal service restored presently.

One of the first things I did when I got back was, of course, check the bathroom walls for new e-mails and I want to thank you all for your continued correspondence and apologise to those of you whose messages got flushed (it seems the babysitter emptied the petty-cash, too, and certain daily necessities didn’t get replace and then Shame ordered in that vindaloo one night… if it was anything important and you haven’t already had a response from us, can I ask you to mail again? Thanks in advance). I was particularly delighted to see we had heard again from an old friend of the Photo Meme Hall of Shame and that his long list of recommendations had survived intact. We value our little helper’s assistance in tracking down infractions like an excitable little truffle pig and reporting them to us with conspicuous glee, but understand that to thank him publicly would be to rain untold horrors upon his dear little head. We were watching ‘V for Vendetta’ last night and inspiration struck; we’ve decided to give him and the rest of you who are fighting the good fight a code name: S for Shamer. Thank you, S, for your efforts. Justice shall be your reward, that and the knowledge that the more names you give us, the less likely we are to pay attention to your own meme entries.

So, I haven’t done this for a long time and it’s not easy to sit here on the mattress after that switching I got the other night on my arrival home (not that I’m complaining) but let’s see if I can pick out and pour scorn on a few of S’s suggestions. Photo Friday always provides us with plenty of shaming fodder and the recent theme of ‘thin’ had the little hamster in S’s head doing somersaults. Here are just a few of the motes in his eye:

415: Ladybug's Leaf
Hmmm. Yes. At first glance, this is a true-blue WTF meme entry but behold! The lily-pads are thin when viewed horizontally, the lily petals are kind of thin in a pointy, non-fat way and the water meniscus is so damn thin you can’t even see it with the naked eye. So, in summary, this whole composition is a big fat photo full of thin things. Nice try, S, but we gotta let this one go, although it is breaking our stony little hearts.

413: DFL
Thin...must be…the snowboard. I guess that’s it. Or maybe the guy’s hair under his woolly hat. Or maybe the tree branches. I don’t want to be too damning here because this guy is allowing voting at his site and this pic only gets 2.5 out of 5 so he’s probably feeling miserable enough about it. Everybody go and vote. Bump up the total so we can do a job on it.

404: Team Wet Dog
We heartily congratulate Teamwetdog (that’s what the smell was. Meme Shame has been a bit gassy of late due to his being on the Atkins Diet and I was blaming him. Sorry, sweetie) on their becoming ‘a little more adept at making something crappy and pixilated look a little less crappy and pixilated’. That’s never a bad thing. But ‘thin’? Nope. You’ve got the less crappy and pixilated down pat. Now try and work a bit on the ‘relevance’ side of things.

397: orricle
I’ve been gazing at this photo for the last 5 minutes trying to work out what exactly Orricle misread ‘thin’ as. I could only come up with ‘shin’ since there are one or two exposed in the foreground of the photo. Or perhaps it was ‘thing’, as in ‘post the first thing in the archives your mouse falls on but do it QUICK’.

387: Journey of the Mind
In Mr RQ Chen’s defence, I will have to confirm that of all modes of transport, bikes are up there amongst the thinnest, especially compared to, say, elephants and 747s. This one stands.

372: m a r p e s
As I’m always telling Shame, ‘Dressing in black, bending over backwards and moving in slow motion does not make you Keanu Reeves. It just makes me perkier when I call you Keanu now and again’. Likewise, labeling a photo ‘thin’ in Flickr does not magically render it a suitable meme entry. Yeah, yeah, broken glass, yeah.

As I type, the pings of new mail coming in from Shamers everywhere is deafening. I’ll deal with that later. Right now I need to go umpire the game of Twister Memeshame is playing with the kids. *sigh* He's cheating again.


Anonymous Robert said...

A part of me is surprised someone would take the time to do this.

A part of me is slightly offended at being included.

A part of me wants to explain where I saw the connection in my photo.

A part of me thinks is site is a brilliant idea.

A part of me thinks you're being too literal.

A part of me wants to say "thanks" for the extra site referrals.

Eh. It's late, and perhaps I'm cranky. I like the idea for the site, but I also think the concept straddles a thin line, so to speak, between good fun and essentially shaming people who are looking for viewers for their work and experiences - be it high art, or vacation photos.

Sure, I'll admit, my entry for "thin" was a stretch — but ultimately it was my stretch.

But in all seriousness, thanks for taking the time to comment and think about these things.


2:53 PM  
Blogger memeshame said...

Dear Robert of Team Wet Dog: We will address you comment line by line so as to not miss anything.

1. Part of us is, too. Like the part that used to spend time cleaning the flat and paying bills. That part is HORRIBLY shocked, actually.

2. Don't be. We only include those we like or who were reported to us by your so-called friends. But friends nonethless.

3. We love that part. That part is called the 'defense' and we fold like cheap suitcases under it's assualt.

4. We consider to be only 'mildly aglow' But the comments? The comments are brilliant! Did you see the comments? And mememonitor, she's brilliant. The site? Shite.

5. We know we are literal. Disappointly so for anything considered art. But we are trying to grow and when we have explained some deeper meaning we stare open mouthed, gazing and noddingly slowly asd if we understand but usually we still do not. Although we do still fold like cheap suitcases and mememonitor tells me not to be so stupid next time.

6. You got extra hits referrals from this site? Tell us who they are. They are NEVER supposed to leave this site unsupervised!

7. We do no shame people for taking bad vacation photos or high works of art. Only for posting them to memes when it does not appear to apply to the theme. I don't think we have ever once shamed anyone for the quality of a photo (And Ooooooooh have we had the opportunities) only the aptness.

8. There is even no real penalty for using your own stretch. Once someone submitted a duck's ass under the Pxite theme of people or human or something. Did it apply? Not in any way that we can think of, however, much to our chagrin, it's the only image from that theme that we can recall.

9. We think about these things so that you will think about these things so that the Shamer who nominated you will stop trying to fill our gmail account to it's 2.77 GB limit!

10. We are adding you to our list of Photograhers and/or Photoblogs that we like and you can't do anything about it because now we do and you are wlecome in advace. Do not forget us at the Holidays and we prefer banana breads to fruit cakes.

Your noisy upstairs neighbors,

The Right Honourable Memes, Monitor and Shame, Esq.

11:53 PM  

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