Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Mr Iron Western Flatline

We, your noisy upstairs neighbours, like some of you better than others and most of you better than none, and one day as we were lying about on the Bare Mattress of Love chins in hand lazing around the Laptop of Love we decided that we liked IronFlatline and WesternFlatline equally.

Who ARE they, we pondered. Maybe they are cousins?? So we did a little hand over hand Googling (Which is really better with two) and sure enough he/she/it was the same person!

Imagine our joy to find that we didn't REALLY like two people the same but really liked the same person twice! That will save on the Photo Meme Hall of Shame Christmas Card List.

So we decided to subject him to the Photo Meme Hall of Shame Interview and never got around to asking him his name. HE IS STILL A MYSTERY TO US. But one we are both now much more smitten with. (Ok, mememonitor a bit more than memeshame)

So get ready to like him if you just met him and better if you didn't.

1. Who are you and why are you doing this to us?

I go by the name of The Iron Flatline. It's a variation of a Gibson character called The Dixie Flatline, but with cooking skills. I do this because this creative outlet represents the fingers I crossed while entering into the Faustian bargain that enables my lifestyle.

2. How many Flatlines are there? have you changed your name? Why? Did you get married?

Well, The Western Flatline is my site. There's K The Uploader, Tiny Chef, and Lil' Flatline, none of whom contribute, but all of whom are featured regularly. Being a Flatline is both things, a religion and a culture. It's possible to be a Flatline without believing in blog, and just taking part in the holidays. What's important is calling your mother regularly.

3. Do you know Kerrin?

No, I do not - though at closer inspection of her blog I realize that she is a parent of multiple boys, a fate we share. Is she hot?

4. What equipment do or have you used? Are there any manufacturers you'd like to praise or bad mouth here?

I buy extremely fancy gear. I learn through elimination, and by having the best cameras I know a bad picture couldn't possibly be an equipment issue - the problem must be somewhere behind the viewfinder. I have a Leica M8 with various fast lenses, and a little Leica D-Lux 3 that has manual settings and captures raw files. The best camera is useless if it's laying at home, and the D-Lux is small enough that it is always with me, especially when flying. I also have a Canon 5D with lots of heavy 'L' glass, but it's getting very little use.

5. What other hobbies do you enjoy or enjoy inflicting upon others?

I'm a pretty good cook, and for years my "nom-de-guerre" online used to be The Iron Chef. Then the show came to the US, and suddenly it was a popular name. It was often taken whenever I joined a forum or community, and I was tired of thinking up new names. I used to play a lot of online video games, esp. CS and UT.

6. Where else can we see your photos? Do you have any side projects?

I do most of the artwork in my house, and have a lot of images (esp. abstracts) that I've printed very large and display at home. Other than that it's really only my blog. I pimp it mercilessly by submitting entries to various photo-memes, but I still can't drive any traffic to it. Part of the problem is apparently that my site doesn't work well in Internet Explorer. A friend of mine built it, but he's moved and has found a paying gig.

7. What is the best photo that you missed?

There's probably a shot every hour that I wish I could capture as I'm seeing it right then and there.

8. Tell us your worst habit.

Good God, where to start... I eat too much, I eat too fast, I eat things that don't go well together and then I wonder why I feel queasy and gain weight. I argue online with people that I don't know about topics I don't really care about. I pick my nose, I make fun of vegetarians, and I am too understanding of the other side.

9. Have you ever done anything heroic? (i.e. solved crimes, saved someone from a burning building or untied them from railroad tracks, fought injustice, donated organs) If not, why not? If so, please include press clippings.)

Yes, I have.

10. If you weren't doing what you do now, what else WOULD you be doing? Photographer doesn't count.

I dunno, photography is the only real thing I know. I don't actually have any tangible meaningful skills, which is why I'm a business man. It's not like I'm a doctor, carpenter, or musician. Maybe I'll be a Rabbi later in life, but I'll have to patch up my relationship with the Big Guy first.

11. What are you wearing?

A dark-grey Zegna suit, a hand-made shirt and shoes, and a tie that I like less than when I bought it. I'm sitting on a plane on my way to London for a meeting, hence the grown-up outfit.

12. Have you no shame, Sir?

No, because The Iron Flatline is a construct. When we put on our glittering ballroom gowns, we can all be drag-princesses for a night.


Blogger laanba said...

I love Iron Flatline. Such an articulate intelligent voice in the photoblogging world.

He probably doesn't remember this, but we actually "met" on a photo forum when he asked about photoblogging.

And now he is an international star and I, well .... this isn't really about me now is it.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Jarrett said...

There's no question, this man/construct/being has some serious wit. An excellent quality.

Mr. Flatline, I regret that I we never had an opportunity to meet in person when we lived merely 50 miles from eachother a few short months ago.

3:11 PM  
Blogger jkirlin said...

We can all be drag princesses for a night?


12:22 AM  
Blogger mooch said...

Why did you drag that up.
Excellent my ferrous friend!

5:20 AM  
Anonymous msdedi said...

and he has an excellent sense of style too!... nice to meet you Mr. Flatline, by the way what's for dinner?

6:05 AM  
Blogger Iron Flatline said...

laanba, my dear - I most certainly remember. I remember we both stopped over at Pixelpost, and I think My Expressions was your suggestion! Thanks for that!

Sorry mooch and jkirlin, but one of us had to step out. Just be FABULOUS!

Jarrett, I agree. It's a bummer. When you got together with everyone in SF a few weeks ago I was packing up my house to move to Europe. I briefly "kidded" with K about going up north, but the look I got was not... "supportive."

Soon, soon!

6:11 AM  
Blogger kmm said...

Alas, It's been a LONG LONG time since I have been considered hot. But I've always liked Mr Iron flatline's photos and his sense of humor. Cheers Kerrin

8:58 AM  
Anonymous lolly said...

Aww, just when I find you, you're no longer posting...this was a hoot, had me laughing buckets of tears (not done that in a long time, Ta!)! Come back, come back...I need you!!! ;~D

8:19 AM  

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